Sunday, May 4, 2014

World Laughter Day - The Circus Wedding

May 4, 2014


Daughters of my heart, and other readers,

Today we celebrate World Laughter Day!  And so, I am posting a short story, "The Circus Wedding," written tongue-in-cheek, totally fictitious, with imagination and exaggeration, in 1990.  This was written for the sole purpose of making my brother laugh, which he did.  I hope you do, too.

Poetic license was taken with some of the names, stringing together words that describe character traits or qualities, but are not really names as such.  Loosely translated, "Tuttobello" is "all handsome," ( in both looks and character).  "Carina ma Senzacervillini," would be "cute or darling, but possibly not too bright;" Ungenio
ma Unpocomatto," would be "a genius, but slightly mad."  (It was Signor Unpocomatto who baked and decorated the famous wedding cake).

A short glossary of other words and phrases is listed after the story.  One more bit of information to set the scene.

Signor Tuttobello is a dapper individual, 50-ish, (think Adolph Menjou or David Suchet), with the serious and dignified demeanor, which his position as an Ambassador merits and warrants.  Signor Tuttobello came to this Country as a young child,  excelled in his studies, and subsequently worked diligently in the diplomatic field to achieve his current position.

Carina is a 20-something, darling girl, with a sunny and sweet disposition,  born at the Circus, to a  family of high wire artists.  From an early age, Carina performed on the high wire with her parents, and she has travelled all over the world.

Without further ado, in the form of a letter,  here then is:  "The Circus Wedding."

August 15, 1990

Dear Sir:

Let me thank you again for the time off to accept la Contessa's kind invitation to join her and Il Circolo degli Conoscenti for an idyllic week at her home in the Italian Alps.  There is so much to report, and I shall do that later this week, but first let me relate the details of l'Ambasciatore Franco Tuttobello and Carina ma Senzacervillini's wedding dinner and reception, as told to us one evening by La Contessa, in the strictest confidence.  La Contessa did, however, give me permission to tell you since you are her favorite and only brother.

This story begins after the ceremony, details of which were reported earlier.  You will recall that Carina was a high wire artist at the Circus, where the ceremony took place.  In the center ring, under the Big Top, along with the Reverend Reeds Sloely, from a nearby church, Signor Franco Tuttobello was nervously awaiting for his bride to appear.

Imagine Signor Tuttobello's surprise when, to the strains of the celebrated Wedding March from Wagner's Lohengrin, (incomparably rendered on the Circus calliope, especially tuned, refurbished and buffed to a brilliant fare-thee-well for the auspicious occasion), la Signorina Carina ma Senzacervillini appeared in all her wedding finery on the high wire directly above him.

"Santo Cielo!" il Signor Tuttobello, (who secretly suffers from a severe case of acrophobia, (also known as hypsophobia)), exclaimed to the assembled guests in general but to no one in particular, "Am I expected to join her on the wire?", which is precisely what la Signorina Senzacervillini had planned.  As a little surprise, and therefore unbeknownst to her soon-to-be espoused Signor Tuttobello, he was to have been gently lifted, ever so slowly, with all the pomp and ceremony always accorded to full Ambassadors, (which Signor Tuttobello was), to her side on the wire, while the Reverend Reeds Sloely, who couldn't quite believe his eyes, officiated from below.

However, to her credit, la Signorina Senzacervillini, upon seeing the unmistakable mixture of anguish, despair, disbelief, and sheer naked fear in the beloved eyes of her beloved, immediately took one dainty step off the wire and, with the pantaloons under the voluminous skirt of her gown acting as twin parachutes, floated effortlessly to his side in a perfect landing that couldn't have been more accurate or precise if she had practiced it for months, whereupon the ceremony proceeded without any more little surprises, much to the
relief of Signor Tuttobello.

The bridal couple and guests left center ring under the Big Top and walked a short distance to the tent where the wedding dinner would be served.  L'Ambasciatore was making a valiant attempt to compose himself after the rather unusual sight of Carina floating down from the high wire to his side for the ceremony.

Carina, glowing with happiness, was the perfect picture of a radiant bride and although she tried to walk sedately beside her new husband, as befitted her new station in life, she simply couldn't help skipping along now and then.  It was a balmy Spring day and a pleasure to be outdoors with the mid-afternoon sun shining brightly, and a soft breeze stirring through the budding trees.

The dinner tent was decorated with swags of ferns and bouquets of white lilacs tied with simple bows of wide, pale green satin ribbons.  At each post was a tall, slender, cylindrical column of decorative white wrought iron in which pairs of doves were cooing.  The banquet tables were covered with glistening white linen cloths, caught at the corners with small bouquets of white lilacs and ferns, simply tied with pale green ribbon.  The chairs had been covered in white linen.  Pale green satin bows at the back of each chair held small bouquets of lilies of the valley.  It was a cool and inviting scene.  The sides of the tent had been rolled up and breezes drifting through carried the heady, heavenly scents of white lilacs and lilies of the valley everywhere.

L'Ambasciatore, who had thought it more appropriate to have the wedding dinner at the Embassy, had reluctantly been persuaded otherwise by Carina, who wanted her last day at the Circus to be a memorable one.

Now, nothing escaped his discerning eye as it swept the room before him, and he thought perhaps he had been wrong to assume that an elegant dinner could not be held at the Circus.  He had duly noted that the linens were Porthault; the china was Rosenthal; the flatware Gorham sterling; and the crystal Baccarat.  He noted also that, although the place settings harmonized beautifully, each table had been set with different patterns.  This surprised him as he hadn't expected them to know that it was now considered gauche to have everything match.  The simple arrangements of the white lilacs and lilies of the valley pleased him, for they were Carina's favorite flowers and he did want the day to be perfect for her.  The doves were a nice touch.

Only one thing puzzled him and that was that the banquet tables were wider than the norm and rather than floral centerpieces or candles, several layers of very wide, pale green, satin ribbon had been placed down the center of each table.  He turned to ask Carina if there was a particular significance to this, but was distracted by one of the guests, and then it was time to sit down.

After the customary toasts for the long life and happiness of the bridal couple, the Reverend Reeds Sloely gave the blessing and they began to eat the antipasto that was already in place.  There was melon with prosciutto, caponata, and bruschetta; simple and delicious.  As the circus guests finished, they placed their plates on the ribbons in the center of the table, which seemed a bit odd to the non-circus guests, but they followed the lead of their host and hostess, Carina's parents, and they did the same.  None of them, however, (the non-circus guests, that is), could have imagined what was about to happen.

There was a short drum roll from the orchestra and then, from out of nowhere, came the trapeze artists, one for each table, who pressed the center edge of the table which activated a switch, which gave the table's center panel a slight tilt, so that by holding the ribbon in one hand and deftly sliding the other hand under it, they were able, (while hanging by their feet and flying through the air), to neatly stack all the plates that were to be removed using the ribbon to tie them all together securely.  These were then deposited on a platform where plates for the next course were waiting and on the swing back to the perch from whence they came, the clean plates were laid down on the center panel, equidistant from one another and directly in front of each guest, the switch beneath the ribbons was pressed again, the center panels became level, and each guest then helped him/herself to a fresh, clean plate.

One could clearly hear l'Ambasciatore exclaim, "Santo Cielo, ma cosa succede"??!!!  (Good Heavens, but what is happening??!!!)  Carina turned to her beloved and was startled to see that he looked quite pale and shaken.  Patting his hand soothingly, she explained that since she had been accustomed to these customs all of her youthful existence, to her they were very ordinary happenings and she hadn't thought it important, or necessary, to mention that trapeze artists would be clearing the tables.  Carina assured her caro sposo that the rest of the dinner would be uneventful.

The circus guests failed to see what the fuss was about.  This was simply an expedient way to remove and replenish plates.  If it could be done with a touch of flair, so much the better.

Surely, one had to marvel at the precision and dexterity of these artists, flying upside down, in unison, never missing a beat or dropping a dish.  Still, it might be a bit disconcerting to witness it for the first time.

The non-circus guests, once they recovered, relaxed, sipped their wine, and realized that this could turn out to be a very interesting evening indeed.

The next course, Egg-Drop Wedding Soup with Tiny Meatballs, was brought in by a parade of penguins, impeccably attired in matching tuxedos.  As if on cue, all heads turned in the direction of the bridegroom, who struggled to appear calm....but failed.

And so it went, course after course, with the penguins serving, the trapezists clearing, and the bridegroom looking as if he were in a nightmare, from which there was no awakening.

The fine cuisine was totally lost on l'Ambasciatore but the other guests, circus and non-circus alike, thoroughly enjoyed the successive courses, the accompanying wines which had relaxed them all, and were looking forward to the dessert course, which was the next to come.

By now, the sun had set.  It was the softest time of the day, when it is light no longer but not yet dark.  Hundreds of tiny lights, like distant stars, twinkled high above in the recesses of the tent.  The guests had been plentifully wined and dined, conversation had quieted down, and all were in a mellow mood.  The doves were cooing contentedly, settling in for the night.  A light fog had been gathering and was now drifting into the tent, creating shadows where the imaginative eye could conjure up almost anything.

The orchestra began to play the hauntingly beautiful strains of Scheherazade.  A tinkling of bells was heard, and through the mist came twelve miniature white horses, pale green satin ribbons strung with silver bells entwined in their flowing manes and tails.  The diminutive young riders wore pale green harem outfits, white rosebuds and pale green ribbons in their hair, the streamers of which fluttered gently behind them as they moved slowly through the mist.  They carried dainty silver platters of the most delectable dolci, tiny meringues filled with a dense chocolate mousse, miniature raspberry tarts, hazelnut biscottini, amaretti, and panforte.  The horses walked slowly behind the guests, stopped when their ribbon reins were pulled so that the platters could be placed on the tables, and started up again when directed to do so.

The room was hushed.  It was an enchanting and captivating scene.  The beauty of it cast its spell over all, including l'Ambasciatore, who looked visibly relaxed and about to enjoy himself for the first time that day.

White bear cubs, also in harem dress, rosebuds and ribbons, came into view, slowly pushing the tea trolley on which the wedding cake had been placed, and positioned it near the bridal party's table.

And what a cake it was!  A veritable masterpiece!  Painstakingly made and assembled by the celebrated (and highly sensitive) Signor Ungenio ma Unpocomatto, it was seven luscious layers of a sherry-laden pound cake, held together with a filling of tangy lemon curd spread over a thick layer of raspberries that had been pureed and reduced to a jam-like consistency.  Rolled white fondant covered the sides and top, the perfect background for the parade of circus animals and acts, authentic to the minutest detail, sculpted in miniature and in marzipan, which circled tier after tier of the towering confection.  Ribbons of frosting flowed beside them as they made their way to the top where, on the high wire, a tiny Carina in her wedding finery, (Signor Unpocomatto, having been sworn to secrecy, had been allowed to see her gown before the wedding), stood awaiting the arrival of her beloved, who, for the moment, stood below.  A handsome glass-fronted cabinet of rare and exotic woods had been constructed which would permanently house the miniature circus parade as a lasting memento and souvenir for Carina, of her youth spent under the Big Top, as she was, of course, retiring to devote her time and unique talents to her new role of Signora Tuttobello.

And then it happened!  Without warning and, one would assume, contrary to their training, the cubs began to recklessly push the trolley between themselves and it careened wildly about the room, ricocheting from a table here, a bear there, while marzipan flew everywhere as the trolley volleyed between guests and chairs and the supports which held the platforms where the trapezists had stored the plates so that, in addition to the general melee of the playful cubs, stampeding horses, and guests scampering out of the path of a cake run amok, there was added a waterfall of plates cascading toward, and crashing, onto the floor below.

The orchestra, like those on sinking ships, continued to play thereby adding to the overall cacophany, until the trolley rolled up to the low barrier in front of them, and the remainder of the cake slid off and landed squarely in the laps of two of them.  It was that big!!!

Signor Unpocomatto wept.  I hear, though, that he is recovering nicely in a Swiss sanitorium where they say the high altitude and mild shock treatments are doing him a world of good.

The clowns who rushed in to restore order only added to the chaos already in progress, contributing to the overall carnival atmosphere.

Curiously, Carina seemed to be enjoying the entire spectacle, clapping her hands and laughing gaily; and when one of the round-up crew shyly and ever-so-slightly bowed in her direction, it caused more than one guest to wonder if this had been a bizarre sequence of incredible events, or if it had been deliberately staged and intricately choreographed as a farewell performance for their cara Carina, whom they dearly loved and would sorely miss.

Turning toward her innamorato to see if he, too, was enjoying himself, Carina discovered him flat on the floor, out cold.  Her call for help was heard by two clowns on stilts who came rushing to her aid, gently lifting l'Ambasciatore, (who fortunately was still comatose for, as you may recall, he is terrified of heights), and
carrying him to the Circus' first-aid tent, where he remained for the remainder of the evening, fitfully drifting in and out of consciousness, occasionally shouting "Aiutami, aiutami," ("help me, help me"), while Carina sat by his side, holding his hand, and murmuring sweet words of love and comfort.

Witnesses said that throughout the entire affair, your sister, La Contessa, who is the soul of decorum, sat transfixed, neither able to move, speak, nor quite believe her eyes.

The guests were told that the bridal couple would join them momentarily, (although they never did), and to  please go into the adjoining tent for dancing.  As the orchestra was in a state of shambles, and covered in cake, the calliope was brought in and played show tunes 'till dawn, when a delicious breakfast buffet was served, after which the non-circus guests reluctantly departed, certain in their heart of hearts that never again in this lifetime would they witness such an event.

Despite denials to the contrary, the rumor persists that l'Ambasciatore, watching the disintegration of all before him, deliberately pushed himself away from the table, tipped his chair and pitched himself backwards, preferring a possible concussion to watching his guests of high station dashing madly about in their vain attempts to escape a runaway cake.  When asked if the rumor was true, La Contessa said her lips were sealed.

And so ends the story of the wedding dinner of Carina and her innamorato, l'Ambasciatore Franco Tuttobello.

Until my next report, I am most respectfully and faithfully,

Your Press Secretary

P.S.  Knowing of your fondness for good food and wine, the wedding dinner and breakfast buffet menus,
         along with recipes to serve 120 guests, are available upon request.

P.P.S.  As time permits, I will relate how Carina and her caro met and you will realize, as I did that,
            appearances to the contrary, it is a match made in heaven.
           
Glossary

amaretti............................small, round, almond cookies
Ambasciatore....................Ambassador
antipasto............................appetizers
bruschetta...........................small rounds of oven-toasted bread with savory toppings
caponata.............................a very thick mixture of stewed eggplant, tomatoes, zucchini and capers
caro.....................................dear
caro sposo...........................dear bridegroom
dolci.....................................sweets
gauche..................................awkward, not quite right
il circolo degli conoscenti.......a circle of 'those in the know'
innamorato............................beloved
panforte.................................a small, round, dense cake made with dried fruit,
                                              spices, and honey.  Recipes for panforte date
                                               back to the time of the Crusades,
                                         
prosciutto...............................ham
signor.....................................Mr.
signora....................................Mrs.
signorina..................................Miss

Copyright 1990
-------------------------------------

Hope you enjoyed the story.  I am gratified by the number of viewers this site is receiving.  Many, many thanks for your interest, and thank you for sharing this site with those whom you think would be interested.

Love,

Zizi


email comments to LettersFromZizi@att.net











No comments:

Post a Comment